The Got Milk Chronicles
by Britz Bitz Candy
Summary: Got Milk Ads, bishonen style. With me and Tessen no Miko as the clueless talent scouts!


The Got Milk Chronicles   
  
Note: Yeah, this is what happens only hours after getting off school for spring break. YOU GO ABSOLUTELY CRAZY!!!!!!! Actually, my best friend, Tessen no Miko, has to make an Ad for her VAMT (Visual Arts Multimedia Technology) course, and I suggested she do an anime Got Milk ad. Now, after I got thinking about it, I decided that these would make a pretty good fic if compiled. So here it goes....  
  
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, and neither does the Got Milk campaign. Don't sue me. I'm a poor high school student, which, sadly, is poorer than a college student.  
  
Back in the days when the anime Got Milk project first began, we were young and desperate. Tessen no Miko and myself, that's K-chan, or formally Kasa no Miko, had no idea what we had gotten ourselves into when we volunteered to be the talent scouts for the Ads. We figured it'd be easy, we'd have a high-paying, slack-off job. That people would just flock to us, begging to be in an Ad. Damn, were we ever wrong...  
  
[scene fades into two girls, one is pacing back and forth talking on a cell phone. She is 5'41/2 with short brown hair, a long skinny body (which is 60% legs), and is wearing a short black skirt, a tight old red t-shirt with a koala on it (that says 'I'm huggable'), black high-heeled shoes, and a blue framed pair of sunglasses. The second girl is sitting patiently in a chair waiting for her friend to get off the phone. She is 6 ft tall, has long black hair, and greenish-brown eyes. She's wearing a pair of baggy dark blue jeans, a tight blue t-shirt, casual sneakers, and has her hair bound up in a ponytail.]  
  
K-chan: ::adjusts her sunglasses as she talks on her cell phone:: Yes, I know sir, just give me a little more time!!!!  
  
Voice: You've had enough time already!!! You'd better damn well find me a model and find one now before I fire you both!!! I don't care if you have to kill to find me one!  
  
K-chan: ::mutters:: The only person I want to kill is him....  
  
TnM: ::snickers:: And with good reason...  
  
Voice: What was that? I can't hear you.  
  
K-chan: Nothing sir. No worries sir, we'll have you a model before the end of the week. ::TnM waves her arms frantically and shakes her head 'no':: Uh huh. Yep. Good evening sir. ::hangs up the phone::  
  
TnM: ::lets out a sigh:: What'd you tell him that for!? Where are we going to find a professional model on such short notice!?!? BAKA!  
  
K-chan: I'm sorry! I had to say something to shut him up!   
TnM: Yeah, and it got us into even bigger trouble! Again! Don't you ever keep your mouth shut?  
  
K-chan: ::pauses and thinks:: I don't think I even do that when I'm asleep...I drool on my pillow.  
  
TnM: --;; Oh, that's just lovely.  
  
K-chan: Oh come on! You don't have any faith in us! We can do this! We cant just blow our first ad so easily! Trust me, we'll get a model.... --;; even if I have to use myself as bribery.  
  
TnM: ::disbelieveing:: You don't mean that.  
  
KnM: Well, you want a model, don't you? What do models want? Sex and money!  
  
TnM: ::ignores her:: WHO ARE WE GOING TO USE DAMMIT!?  
  
[Tasuki of FY walks in, completely unsuspecting.]  
  
Tasuki: Hey. What're you guys....why are you looking at me like that?  
  
TnM & K-chan: ::grin evilly::  
  
Tasuki: A-ano...I don't like that look....  
  
K-chan: ::slaps Tasuki on the back, still maintaining he Cheshire cat grin:: Tasuki, how would ya like to be in a magazine ad....?  
  
  
And so began our career. A few crates of sake and a promise of great payment was all it took to have the loudmouthed bandit hooked. I was ecstatic that I didn't even have to sleep with our first model to get him in the ad! Starting with Tasuki was a bit difficult, seeing as we'd chosen a bishonen that didn't like milk. Problematic.  
You see, how do you do a Got Milk ad, if the model refuses to drink the stuff? Not very good for the image you want to get across. We found a way around it though. Tasuki didn't even have to come within a mile of milk in any shape or form, he just had to show up for the shoot, and that was it.   
  
  
A month later his ad appeared in Fangirl Magazine:  
  
The Scene: Tasuki is sitting on a bed, wearing barely anything and tied to the posts by a large piece of rope. His clothes are in a discarded heap at the side of the bed. The covers of the bed are black satin, and candles are burning all around. The decor of the room seems very mysterious. Tasuki smirks seductively at all the readers. His hair is messed up and beads from his broken necklace are scattered across the sheets. There is no sign of milk or a milk moustace anywhere.  
  
The Caption: How did the Leader of the Mt. Reikaku bandits get all tied up? He doesn't drink milk, depriving him of nutrients that his body needs to remain strong and healthy. With out calcium, his bones wont stay strong, and will break easier when he gets older. So drink milk! It's makes you stong and tastes great.... after all, wouldn't you like to top him off with a nice tall glass of milk?  
  
Tasuki: ::reads the Ad:: WHAT TH' HELL!!!!??? YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT'S WHAT YA WERE PLANNIN' ON DOIN'!!!!! YOU TWO ARE SO DEAD!  
  
K-chan: ^^;; Ano....I think it's time to go.....  
  
TnM: o.O;; No kidding....holy shit....he's really pissed off.  
  
Tasuki: REKKA SHINEN!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
TnM: SHIT! RUUUUUN!!!!!!!!  
  
And so our first Ad was a sucess with the ladies (o_O and some men), but not with the model. No, we learned that when you insult the model, you end up running for your life. But this was the starting point; this is where the Got Milk Chronicles all began.  
  
Tasuki: SHADDUP ONNA!!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!! I'LL KILL YA!!!!!  
  
o.O;; Ano....THE END!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Shall I continue or leave it? I'm not really quite sure....this is kinda a half-baked fic....  
  
Ja!   
  
~K-chan   
  



End file.
